Friday, 18 September 2009


Well I now been back at weightwatchers for two weigh ins and have so far only lost two pounds. Mmm not too good. The leader today talked about a member called Lucy hot lips. Now this young lady pointed religiously for all the food she ate sitting down. Mmmm..... but not those little slivers of things eaten whilst preparing food. I stayed the same this week rather too many broken bits of biscuits and tiny slivers of cheese methinks.

I have bought a lovely A4 pad today as have been planning menus since the beginning of term and have decided to kept ese all in a book and use it as a tracker as well. I will be more organised! I have got better this term with keeping organised in general and this is just one step nearer.

The big concern I have is my knee pain. If I walk around much without the knee brace it hurts. Really don't want to go to the doctors as I know the first comment will be lose weight!! I am sure that weight loss will help this situation.Still I will see as the weight comes off.

I do wonder why emotional highs and lows make you want to eat and wonder why on earth this should be.! I know it's no excuse but does seem to affect eating. Its a great mystery to me as I know lots of people are like this. I reckon there must be I will eat when emotions are heightened gene!!!!!.

Well here goes for this week

Friday, 28 August 2009

here goes!

Well it's 9.30 am and I am going to Weightwatchers for the first time since May. Slightly worried about what I'll discover but must face it. I know that without a weekly weigh in I simply can't achieve this.I am, though, have a cooked breakfast before going as that does sustain better but no doubt may show in the scales!

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Back again!

I haven't thought about this blog for months and neither have I lost weight. I began so enthusiatically and then so many tragedies happened in the family I just wilted. I spent several weeks at home unable to do anything of think about anything. Then the summer holidays came. We've been away a lot and I have given no thought to eating and whilst I haven't really gained more than a few pounds I also haven't been trying to lose weight. ]
Since my last post i discovered that not only is blood pressure affected by all this weight, also my knee hurts if I move around too much. On holiday I had to wear a knee brace for walking even just down to the beach and only managed a couple of decent walks all holiday.My get up and go had got up and gone! I did though do loads of sea and pool swimming which was fabulous.
The picture is our holiday apartment. We found a farm which sold sheep skin rugs so between us we bought 9 so all the children now have them. My cousin and I bought two each and then lay them all on the bed for a silly photo shoot.
I have now planned the meals for the week, done the tesco shop, listed other recipes I want to do for next week and am ready to start afresh. I was so appalled by the lack of fitness on holiday and the affect on my body and my life It's imperative that I gain control so here goes.

Monday, 20 April 2009

Party panic

It's day two and I already have a wobble (amongst all the wobbly bits!). One of my friends is to be 40 and has a surprise party being planned. The phone call came out of the blue and has really put me into a panic. Not sure whether to just cry off and haven't even broached it with my husband. I haven't seen them for maybe three years and they are all super slim, super fit and very good looking. And me? Well enough said. The party is in three weeks and I just don't feel confident enough to go. This is unusual for me but i'm not sure I can face the "oh you look well!" Why do people always say this when you have gained welght? I suppose they have to say something but I think it would be better to say nothing. The looks say it all really.

Today has been good from an eating perspective except for the small chocolate indulged in at a meeting- they caught me at that "I want to go home and feel exhausted" time and just called out "We'll pep you up!" Must be more disciplined next time but 1 is better than 6!

I tried to upload a picture today. I couldn't crop the one I wanted so had to put up a least favourite- pictures are few and far between as I am always behind the camera, not in front. there's no editing package on this laptop so need to have a go at another time. Still hopefully over the months that may change- let's be positve

Sunday, 19 April 2009

We all have to start somewhere

Sunday 19th April 2009
15st 10.5 lbs.
Today i have begun a journey started many times before but I have never reached the end. This time I is different. This time I shall get there even if it means walking in little shuffles until i achieve the goal. I have never even contemplated a blog before, am not very computer literate and not sure why i would want to create a public document about my innermost demons but here goes.

Ever since I left college in 1986 the weight began to creep on.I had managed to stay under 9 stone for my whole college career but what happened next? I'm not sure if it was having the money to eat what I liked or just greediness but fat kept sliding out of nowhere to stick to each part of my body.As a family growing up weight was always an obsession with huge dramas unfolding over a measly half a stone. Mum was always at weightwatchers fighting the battle and constantly feeding us weight reducing food to fit with what ever the latest WW advice was. Food was loved by all but fat was a big issue and to be fought at all costs. Weight was talked about constantly and all three sisters always knew what the other weighed and I always thought I was overweight even at 8st 4lbs which would be a dream now. It took me years to accept my body as it was and love it for itself and not for what it should be although I don't have much of that feeling now.

Once I left college and started work the weight began to creep on like an unwanted unloved wart which you can't seem to stop getting bigger and bigger. A disastrous relationship over several years didn't help as i discovered eating for comfort and unhappiness, eating after drinking and Indian take away. When i met my husband and we eventually were engaged I weighed 13 and a half stone. Everyone says you gain weight when you were happy and that's certainly true but i seem to gain weight in all states of emotion!

In the pre- wedding ,dress fitting panic i managed to lose 3 and a half stone and thought i looked pretty good but still 10 and a half stone and a size 14. where were those days when a size 12 was too big?! Post wedding the weight started to increase in a euphoric haze of happy days so that when i was first pregnant they needed to use the big cuff for my blood pressure and i very quickly lost the sight of my feet!! I managed not to gain too much in my first pregnancy but had little motivation to lose it afterwards as the baby was so adorable and i wanted to shower all my love and attention on my family rather than myself. The second baby came with eighteen months of the first and after he was born I realised the time had come to do some serious fat busting. By the time he was eighteen months i was in size sixteen at 11 and a half stone.

What happened ? I really don't know . But now ten years on my youngest is 10 and has never seen me anything other than fat or rather clinically obese- what a hideous term isn't it?! I have already lost 10 pounds but for me day one is today- the first step on a long,difficult mountainous journey which i am sure will be a windy tortuous path full of diversions and crevasses to fall down but I know it's achievable.

It would be good to arrive at a time: when i don't worry if my knickers are on the line and friends come around (Bridget jones doesn't know the meaning of big knickers!); when I could go into a normal shop and have my pick of clothes; when i could bend down qithout huffing; when my back doesn't ache after lying in bed; when I could walk a few miles without feeling exhausted; when my knees didn't hurt from carrying all this weight ; when I look in the mirror and don't see my tummy in a huge roll like a mass of quivering lard; when my arms don't wave back at me: when i feel remotely healthy instead of a huge gelatinous mass waddling like a lumbering imitaion of a hippopotamous; when my face is dfined and not surrounded by an extra layer. Oh this could go on and but it's day one so here goes!